beloved
i don't like to think i take my situation for granted, but i find myself not actively appreciating what i have a lot. being clouded by mental anguish and emotions constantly in flux will do that to you, i suppose.
but, for today, i want to remind myself how much i appreciate my partner. i love him. more than that, i admire and respect him. he's not perfect, but i would not want him any other way. he is genuine, honest, kind, and silly. he lifts me up, reassures me, and does his best to provide whatever he can. i can speak to him about anything. there is something so beautiful about the way he interacts with me, i never fail to notice it. he has an insane laugh that only keeps me laughing.
i have known him for... sixteen years, i believe. it was truly, in the most cliche sense, love at first sight. i am glad there were circumstance beyond our control to prevent our union too soon. we needed to age, have experiences of our own, and deal with our respective trauma. we are still doing all of this now, together, but too soon could have had disastrous results on our relationship. timing really can make or break any experience.
he was the first classmate to come up and talk to me when i transferred mid-year in the sixth grade. he was jittery and a little loud for my tastes, but i kept my eyes on him from that point on. there's been a lot of things to happen between now and then. i don't just mean our separate personal experiences, i mean more between us, before any real relationship. but i think i'll save that for a time when i am less constrained by my impending "bedtime".
the short of it is, i love him and i couldn't imagine my life without him. so, here's to my beloved.