normal
this is the most normal i have felt in a long time. months, probably longer. i woke up and stayed up. i worked, and i didn't get smacked by my usual early morning paralysis about my tasks. i attended and scheduled meetings. i fed the dog on time for lunch. i ate, too. and not too much. was it perfect? no. i ended up falling asleep shortly after clocking out, which meant i didn't get to spend a lot of time with my partner before lying down... which is what i should be doing now, but instead i am wide awake. probably because of a combination of the late and long nap, and whatever brain chemicals are rampant up there right now, ones that my body is not generally accustomed to.
i did not go to that support group. i did feel too anxious to do that. i'm not sure if that's right for me, or if i want to take that step right now. i figured it would be best to table that until, if ever, i am ready. i did not exercise, though i also did not binge eat. my snacks were small and my meals were satisfying. i feel okay about that.
i am not joyous or elated, or anything along those lines. but today i felt as if this is what the average person would feel. no inexplicable and unyielding sadness, no intrusive desires to commit wanton acts of violence or harm, and no crying. i would very much like for it to stay this way. i know how unlikely that is, but it would be really nice.